How to change your career without worrying what other people think
Ever since the pandemic, we’ve been on a collective roller coaster ride when it comes to our relationships with work. First there was The Great Resignation, then ‘quiet quitting’ and now there’s a fresh twist in the tale as we find ourselves navigating a cost of living crisis.
We may have learnt the hard way that we can’t control external forces in the job market, so it’s wise to shift our focus internally when it comes to decision making about our careers. At the heart of my career coaching, there is always one fundamental question – are you doing something that matters to you? Weathering the storms around you feels a lot easier when you’re doing a job that lights you up and reflects your values as a person.
If you’re considering a big career change, there are plenty of factors to consider, from skills and experience to salary and timing but often there’s also the worry of what other people will think. We live in a society that places huge value on achievement and the outward trappings of success so if you’re considering leaving a high-status role – with an enviable salary to match – it’s natural to be concerned about potential judgement from friends, family and colleagues. Many people feel defined by what they do so reimagining a new career can feel like rebuilding a whole new identity.
Bestselling author and podcaster, Emma Gannon’s new book, Success Myth, explores our obsession with ‘having it all’ and how outward achievements don’t necessarily equate to inner happiness. In her recent interview with Suzy Walker for Metro, she said: “It’s about getting to the root of what we actually want from our own lives right now: not what looks good at a dinner party, not what gets you the most online validation, not what makes your parents proud, but figuring out what success looks like to you day to day.”
Even if we know this to be true, it can be challenging to stay focused and resilient as you explore a career change so here are my top 5 tips for listening to your inner voice and not worrying about what other people think:
1. Get really clear on your own values and what success looks like for you so that the steps you are taking towards a new career feel really authentic. When you’re being true to yourself, and not who you think you ought to be, it’s infinitely easier to deal with any criticism or judgement that comes your way. When you’re happy on the inside, negative comments matter less.
2. Look at the big picture. Life is too short not to do work that brings you joy, so give yourself the chance to pursue that wholeheartedly. If you need motivation, consider the impact of not making a change and doing a job that you hate until retirement. A few judgements and criticisms are worth it when you think about everything you have to gain in health and wellbeing, confidence, mindset and even relationships.
3. Avoid the compare and despair game and remember that often we only see the 'shiny’ side of other people’s lives that they choose to share with us. Even if someone shows a successful front to the world, it doesn’t mean they always feel contented on the inside and even if they are, what’s right for them isn’t necessarily right for you.
4. Make good choices about who you allow into your life and the level of importance you place upon their feedback. Not everyone's opinions matter. Those who really know and care for you, will want what's best for you so find an open-minded, inspiring tribe to support you along the journey.
5. Practice self-acceptance and self-compassion. Be intentional about working on your confidence and mindset and believe that what you want really matters. It does! If that's a career change, give yourself permission to explore that possibility. It’s not indulgent or unrealistic to find work that you love – its brave and potentially life changing.
Heather Mortimer left a high-flying career as a Principal Director of a Geotechnical Engineering company to retrain and open her own Canine Care business, Pooch, in Buckinghamshire. She says: “What I found hardest was the feeling that people would judge that I hadn’t ‘stuck it out’ or achieved my full potential in my previous career. I still feel that judgement occasionally but what has been enlightening is the slow realisation that these criticisms come from me and no one else. I’ve actually had the opposite reaction from other people who often ask my advice on how to make the leap to do something more fulfilling. You get one shot at life so get out there and do what makes you happy”
Remember that like Heather, it’s good to be a healthy disruptor. Some people might feel unnerved if you leave a high-flying, well-paid job for something that doesn’t match up in ‘status’ but perhaps that’s because they’ve defined their own success by these outward indicators. If so, your new direction might leave them wondering if they really are living the dream.
If you do decide to make a change, you’re in good company. Several high-profile personalities have left glamorous careers behind to follow more meaningful, personal dreams. Today, singer Charlotte Church runs a wellness retreat in rural Wales and campaigns for climate action, economic equity, and wellbeing for all, while Kate Silverton, swapped a glittering career as a BBC broadcaster to follow her long-term passion and become a qualified child psychologist. Like Charlotte and Kate, you can draw on the skills you’ve acquired in your career so far to forge a new path so if you’re considering a change, never feel that what you’ve done before has been wasted effort.
As with any change, the proof is in the pudding. If you decide to pursue a new career path and it leads to inner fulfilment, any critics will be firmly silenced by your newfound happiness.
If you’d like to talk about what you’re looking for, and how I can help, please get in touch